From This Moment On
by MISSYAlexandra
Summary: A bracelet for a birthday present will hold much more significance than one would've ever believed. What if the events of Always had never taken place, only because Castle and Beckett managed to find each other months prior? How did child!Kate influence the woman she is today? A year of love. Fluffy Caskett, oozing loveballs.
1. November

_August 24, 1980_

_It was a balmy summer's day. The sun had sat high in the blue sky with no cloud all day long while a heat wave was blanketing the bustling city of New York. By the time evening had come, there was a somewhat considerable drop in temperature, but it continued to linger nonetheless. _

_The impact of the weather was stifling for some, horrid for others and plain irritating for most. However, not for Jim and Johanna Beckett, who had spent most of their day at their local outdoor swimming pool relaxing in the cool cerulean water. Of course, this was under Johanna's strong insistence and her methods of approaching life, to seize each and every opportunity possible as they present themselves. What's a better opportunity to go swimming outdoors than during the peak of summer anyway?_

_It was Katherine, or more affectionately, Katie's, first time to the pool today. She'd started walking the week prior and Johanna was certainly a lot more than eager to let her only daughter begin exploring the world on her own two feet. Katie had loved it; she'd splashed, waded around the toddler's pool, started numerous water fights to the best of her ability and went in the big pool with Jim._

_Hours later, the family of three were in the kitchen together; Johanna cooking hers and Jim's dinner, Katie strapped into her high chair and Jim feeding her before having his own dinner. There was never a shortage of laughter and good vibes in the Beckett household, and tonight was no exception. Johanna and Jim regaled each other with the antics of the day while Katie babbled along, letting out the occasional giggle or high pitched squeal. _

"_More!" demanded Katie, banging her hands on the table of her high chair after Jim had finished feeding her all the food that was in her bowl._

"_That's enough. She's had plenty to eat now and across today. If she's still hungry later, we'll give her something then," said Johanna, as she turned around from the stove upon hearing her daughter's request, her long dark hair flicking over her shoulder as she spun._

_Presented as a rational, reasonable and logical request from his dear wife Johanna, normally he'd recognise and accept this. However, since the arrival of baby Katie, he'd been doing things differently, even more so since she's now very capable of vocal communication in basic English._

_Jim unstrapped Katie, removed her from the high chair and sat her against his hip as he navigated them through the kitchen and into the lounge room, where he sat her down on her blanket with her various toys. _

_As he pulled away, Katie was doing quite possibly the best impersonation of the puppy dog face he'd ever seen; her big hazel eyes staring up at him and her adorable pouty mouth._

_Jim sighed. He was fighting a losing battle with his nine month old daughter. He made sure the coast was clear before snagging three crackers from the dining table to hand to Katie, who giggled in delight upon receiving them._

_Little did Jim Beckett know, things would operate like this for years to come; he absolutely adored his daughter and she had him wrapped around her little finger.  
_

November 17, 2011

Detective Kate Beckett sat cross legged at her desk, filling out the remainder of her paperwork from yesterday's case with her steaming cup of coffee, courtesy of Castle, who seemed to have disappeared yet again, positioned to the left of her computer, the heavenly aromas consuming the airspace she was currently in, making her only want it more and more.

She sat back in her chair, reading over the various words she'd penned across her case report while gently chewing on her pen, a habit she was still yet to break. Being satisfied with what she'd written and how she'd articulated her recount of events, she pulled the pen from her mouth, neatly scrawled her signature across the designated line, dated the report, reinserted it into the correct folder, and then dropped it into the document sorter reserved for completed cases. This was the cathartic part for her; case closed, justice delivered and the huge gap that the affected families felt would slowly begin to close. If only all of her cases were this easy.

Kate closed her eyes and leant back in her chair, muscles flexing and bones cracking, the feeling of sweet relief flooded her body and she grinned to herself in approval. She heard soft footsteps approaching her desk. Cracking an eye open, she silently welcomed the vision of Richard Castle, smiling warmly at her.

"Happy birthday, Kate," he greeted, dropping two colourfully wrapped boxes onto her desk, one slightly larger than the other, before pulling up his chair to the side of her desk and sitting down in it.

"Thanks Castle," replied Kate shyly, touched by his sweet gesture, which presented itself in the form of mysterious boxes.

"Go on, open it," instructed Castle, eager to see her reaction to what he'd purchased for her birthday, not that he'd already decided that this would be the highlight of his day, not at all.

Kate gave a soft laugh at his child-like enthusiasm.

"If you insist," agreed Kate, opting to open the larger of two boxes that were currently sitting on her desk. Snagging the box, she slipped her sharp thumbnail underneath the end fold of the wrapping paper on the side of the box, slicing the tape, repeating the action on the other end and on the tape holding the paper together on top of the box.

Almost dumbfounded at what was hidden under the wrapping paper, Kate looked from her present, to Castle, to the present and back to Castle again.

"You bought me a Pandora bracelet?" questioned Kate, after finally being able to find some words. Castle only nodded at her enquiry. "Why?" she probed further.

Castle leant closer to Beckett, in an almost conspiratorial way, picked up the box and opened the lid to display the contents.

"Kate, when I first met you I told you everyone has a story of how they became the person they are at a particular moment in time. These Pandora bracelets, they're a different method of storytelling; the charms people put on these bracelets represent the things that are important to them. So, when you open the other box, you'll find the charm that represents a big part of who you are today, it's not all of who you are, but it certainly is a big part," explained Castle in a soft, warm voice.

"Thank you, Castle, that's really sweet," replied Kate, removing the silver bracelet from the box, opening the clasp and sitting it on her desk. She picked up the smaller box, which was yet to be unwrapped, sliced the sticky tape with her fingers, pried open the paper, revealing a similar white box, but minus the logo this time.

She hesitated for a moment, pondering which charm Castle had bought, almost reluctant to discover what he saw as one of the biggest elements which made her Kate Beckett. Deciding to rip off the bandaid and simply face the music, she snapped open the box, removing all the mystery surrounding the charm.

Handcuffs.

"Handcuffs," she vocalised, looking up at him. "You bought me the handcuffs charm," she beamed at him, only to quickly break their sustained eye contact to slip the charm onto the bracelet and then gently place it back into the box. She wanted to wear it all the time, but it was liable to get broken, damaged or catch on something if she wore it at work.

"Well, you are a detective, so I thought I'd start with the most obvious one first of all," laughed Castle, subtly winking at Kate, causing her to duck her head blush slightly.

"Hey, are you still coming out with us tonight?" asked Kate, looking up to meet his gaze.

"What! Of course I am!" squeaked Castle "As if I would ever miss your birthday!" he exclaimed, slightly hurt by her uncertainty of his attendance at her small and informal, yet _perfect_ birthday celebration which was going to take place that night.

"Jeez Castle, it's just my birthday," replied Kate nonchalantly while she turned to pick up some case files, as if it was no big deal, all while knowing how important birthdays were for Castle.

"Precisely," countered Castle, waggling a finger at her, causing her to laugh softly.

"We've got a hit on Corbin's car. It just passed through a toll point in the Queens-Midtown tunnel," said Ryan, jogging into the room while waving a piece of paper residing in his right hand, and then handing it to Kate.

"Let's move," ordered Kate, accepting the piece of paper, grabbing her jacket before heading to the elevator with Castle.

**Later that night...**

"Did you see the look on Esposito's face when Lanie walked in tonight? He was fully gawking! Smitten, he is the epitome of smitten!" enthused Castle about his favourite not-couple as he and Kate walked back to her apartment after dinner and drinks with Ryan, Esposito, Jenny, Lanie and surprisingly enough, Gates.

"Well Castle, it was kind of hard to miss it," replied Beckett, bumping her shoulder with his as they walked along the footpath, side by side in the chilly, but still, November air.

"It was so intense!" exclaimed Castle, earning himself a look from Kate due to his apparent fangirling over Esplanie, while they entered the lobby and made their way to her building's elevators.

The elevator ride up to Kate's apartment was silent, but a comfortable, familiar silence, the kind that almost feels like home.

They walked down the hallway of her floor, remaining silent until they reached her front door, only the gentle sounds of their footfalls against the carpet to fill the space.

"So," Kate started turning to face him, keys in hand, both preparing but not yet ready to say their goodbyes for the night.

"So," echoed Castle, reaching down to toy with the Pandora bracelet wrapped around Kate's slim wrist that she'd put on just before they'd left for dinner, his warm fingers brushing against the skin of her arm. "You really are extraordinary, you know?" he murmured, abandoning the bracelet in favour of her hand, twining her long, slender fingers with his own, a gesture the two only share on occasion.

Something inside Kate snapped, as if every piece of the jigsaw of her life suddenly fit together and everything just seemed right. Her resolve crumbled; his raw honesty finally being the last sledgehammer to that wall inside which she had built all those years ago, it was gone and she no longer had anything to hold her back or hide behind.

Suddenly feeling a bout of extreme confidence, she shook her hand free of Castle's while simultaneously dropping her keys and grabbing onto the lapels of his suit jacket, tugging him down to her level and fusing her mouth to his.

Castle stumbled backwards in shock, but quickly recovered, eagerly responding, while using his large hands to span her waist, moving them to her hips and tugging her impossibly closer. He moaned into her mouth as she nipped at his lip with her teeth, quickly soothing with her tongue, her fingers delightfully digging into his shoulders as she continued her passion fuelled assault on him.

Breaking apart ever so slightly for oxygen, they were both all swollen lips and laboured breathing, yet still sharing the same air as they gradually calmed down.

"I'm ready," she whispered before leaning in and claiming his lips one final time.


	2. December

_**February 7, 1981**_

"_No!" squealed and squirmed Katie as Johanna attempted to sit her on the potty once again. Johanna and Jim had been trying to start potty training Katie over the course of the last four months, but it was still yet to be remotely successful. Even at the tender age of two, young Katie's stubborn streak was present; she certainly was determined not to be told how to do it._

"_Katie, if you go I'll give you a jellybean," offered Johanna in the form of a bribe._

"_No!" Katie protested, determined not to give in "Jellybeans are yucky," she lied, screwing her face up for effect. _

"_That's not true," said Johanna "You were eating them yesterday," she reminded. _

"_No," replied Katie defiantly, shaking her head._

"_Okay, maybe next time," Johanna sighed. This was proving to be a long and tenuous process._

_**February 10, 1981**_

_Jim had walked out of the room for a second, it was only half a second later when Katie realised that she needed to go. Not just go anywhere, but go to the toilet. _

_Seeing as Jim wouldn't be returning for what seemed like one thousand years to Katie, but in reality was only a few minutes, she took the situation into her own hands, pushed herself up from the ground and toddled off in the direction of the bathroom._

_She nudged the already ajar door open with her tiny hand, pushed the door far enough to give herself some privacy, but not enough to actually close it; she couldn't quite reach the doorknob yet. _

_Moving to stand in front of the green potty, pulled down her pink leggings and training pants, flinging them into the nearby corner and lowering herself down onto the potty, squirming to find a comfortable position to sit._

_Katie sat and waited. Something was supposed to happen, right? She wiggled her toes and looked around the room while willing herself to hurry up and go already. Then suddenly, she felt it; the warm stream of relief. Obviously, it wasn't as if she'd never experienced this before, in fact she had plenty of times, but there was something so satisfying about being able to do it all by yourself. _

_She finished up, grabbed her leggings and training pants, sat on the floor, pulled them over her feet and back up before heading to the sink. She pulled out the stepping stool from underneath, stepped up onto it, turned the tap on, rubbed the soap on her hands and rinsed them underneath the running water, just like Johanna had shown her countless times before. _

_Jim re-entered the living room with Katie's lunch, only to find absolutely no trace of her. He frowned, feeling his internal panic rising; he could've sworn she was here a few minutes ago. He suddenly heard running water coming from the bathroom and almost sagged against the couch in sheer relief._

_He approached the bathroom door, carefully listening to the sounds of his daughter._

"_Katie?" he asked, softly rapping on the door. _

"_Yeah?" she replied distractedly._

_He pushed the door open slightly and stuck his head around the door, welcomed with the vision of his two year old daughter putting all her concentration into drying her hands on the royal blue towel._

"_Did you—" he began his inquiry._

"_Yeah, I did!" exclaimed Katie excitedly, clapping her hands enthusiastically while doing what only could be described as a "victory dance". _

"_Good stuff, Katiebear," he praised, kneeling down to her level and extending his larger hand for a high five from her smaller one, which she gladly returned. "Come on, lunch is ready," he told her, to which she nodded and followed him out of the bathroom._

_Jim watched on in a surge of pride as Katie sat up at the table and began eating her lunch. His daughter, his incredibly bright and talented two year old daughter just used the bathroom without any form of assistance. Oh, to hell with it, he thought, she essentially taught herself what to do and how to do it by following his and Johanna's previous instructions._

_He picked up the phone and dialled the familiar number, waited patiently for the line to connect and to hear the mesmerising voice of the gorgeous woman on the other end._

_"Hey, Jo? Yeah, I'm good. No, nothing's wrong. Listen, I've got some good news for you..." _

**December 1, 2011**

"Castle!" hissed Beckett, snatching the bright red bauble from Castle's extended hand, about to hang it on the tree's protruding branch. "There's already a red one next to it," scolded Kate, moving the decoration to an area of the tree that was yet to have a red one hanging on it.

Of course, Castle was already well aware of this. His trained writer turned assistant-detective, as he liked to call himself, had a sharp eye and good attention to detail. No, Castle just liked to stir Kate up every so often; he found the flash of her eyes and the furrow of her brow strangely hypnotic and somewhat arousing.

"There is a plan, you know," reminded Kate, holding up her expertly decided plan, a set of steps on how to decorate the tree this year, ensuring an even coverage of lights, tinsel, baubles, handmade decorations and the other miscellaneous items which would grace the tree.

"You can be so compulsively organised at times," teased Castle, picking up an unused piece of gold tinsel from the floor and lightly tossing it at Kate.

"And you can be so irritatingly infuriating at times," countered Kate, catching the tinsel one handed, wadding it up and throwing it back at Castle, hitting him squarely in the face.

"Irritatingly infuriatingly sexy, you mean?" asked Castle, his voice dropping a few octaves, a tone which he usually saved for activities somewhat more intimate than tree decorating. He began making his way toward her, the decorations in his hands hitting the floor with a soft "thump", his eyes hungry and his face expressing only one thing that Kate could decipher: want.

Kate's breath hitched, a soft gasp escaped as Castle reached her, one hand on the curve of her hip, sliding to her lower back, pulling her closer, while the other one made its way into her long, bouncy, chocolate coloured locks. Their eyes met and Kate had to remind herself to breathe. They'd done this a hundred times before, but each time always managed to feel like the first. Their eyes shut simultaneously, their breaths mingled and their lips brushed in a whisper of a kiss; a promise for more.

"Richard, dear, have you seen my scarf? You know, the white silky one I picked up from Sach's last we—Oh my, I'll come back later," came the voice of Martha from the stairs, leaving as quickly as she , turning on her heel after realising she had interrupted a "moment" between her son and the woman who she sincerely hoped would become her daughter-in-law in the future.

Kate startled, banging her nose into Castle's in surprise, a soft yelp of pain escaping her. She buried her face in the crook of Castle's neck in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. It didn't matter that she was a thirty two year old woman, certainly no longer a seventeen year old; getting walked in on by your boyfriend's mother didn't get easier, or less awkward, with time.

"I'll go see if I can find her scarf and then maybe we can have the loft to ourselves," murmured Castle, pulling back from Kate, soothingly rubbing his hands down her arms and kissing her forehead before heading off in search of his mother.

After Castle managed to find Martha's scarf for her, she made a dramatic exit, singing her goodbye to Kate, who was still living down the embarrassment of getting caught necking with Castle by his _mother_ of all people, from across the loft, letting the door click shut behind her as she left for the Christmas party which she was hosting for her acting studio.

Now completely alone with each other, Castle made his way back to Kate in the living room, who, despite her height, was struggling to put the star on the highest point of the tree. Castle wrapped his arms around her waist, hoisting her up just enough so she could reach, definitely not missing the small breath she let out as a result of being caught off guard.

Settling the star on the tree, Castle loosened his grip just enough so Kate could slide down his body and stand upright on the floor. She had no shoes on, so there was a somewhat significant height difference present between the two, the top of Kate's head just reaching Castle's chin.

"It really is beautiful," quietly exclaimed Kate in awe of the huge, brightly colourful tree they'd decorated together as Castle's arms found their way back around her waist while resting his chin on her shoulder.

"I could say that about someone else," replied Castle, pausing to drop a kiss on the side of her neck.

"How much eggnog have you had, or is this the Christmas spirit doing it to you?" asked Kate, glancing sideways at the man whose head was currently perched on her shoulder.

"No eggnog, I do love Christmas... But I speak only the truth for you, my dear Katherine," he told her sincerely. "Come on, I have something for you," he said, removing his arms and then tugging on her hand, sitting on the couch and pulling her down with him so their sides were pressed together. He reached into the pocket of his dark wash jeans and pulled out a small blue velvet pouch with the Pandora logo on it, handing it to Kate. Of course, this was the second charm.

"I don't have anything for you yet," Kate informed him honestly, accepting the pouch from him.

"Doesn't matter, I have everything I need," he replied, matching her level of honesty with his.

She loosened the gold strings and turned the bag on its side, shaking the contents onto her hand. She held it in front of her, examining it closely. It was a sliver Christmas tree with smooth points and a dainty gold star on top, just like the one she'd placed on top of the tree moments earlier.

"Our first Christmas together," Kate said aloud, voicing her thoughts. She undid the clasp on the silver bracelet that now spent most of its time living on her right arm.

"Our first Christmas together," echoed Castle, reaffirming what they both already knew: this was the first of many Christmases together. He held one side of the bracelet while she slipped the charm onto the other end, moving it so it sat beside the handcuffs he'd given her a little over two weeks ago.

Kate took the other end from Castle, refastened the bracelet and returned it to its rightful place on her wrist, feeling strangely light without it on.

"Thank you, Castle, significant and thoughtful," she said, beaming at him. He felt a sudden surge of love and adoration for this incredibly beautiful, intelligent and graceful woman, seeing her face light up over what, in reality, was a piece of manipulated metal.

"I love you," he blurted out, his usually well in place mental filter failing him.

He watched as the emotions played across her face at his sudden confession; a small part of him was expecting her to be angry, or even worse, run, even after all the progress they'd made together as of late.

"I know," she told him in a small voice. "I heard you, after I was shot you tackled me to the ground and you told me twice. It was the last thing I remembered before the lights went out," she continued, her confidence growing with each word she spoke. "But I couldn't tell you I knew then in the hospital. If we'd gotten together after that tragedy in a moment of desperation, I don't think we could've lasted. I didn't want to risk what we'd spent three years building; I wanted to just let things happen, instead of forcing them to. But now, it's different. I'm right where I want to be, Castle. I'm in this for the long run," she said, finishing on a nod.

Now that there was a "them" Kate knew the success of the relationship would depend on both of them being honest, even if it meant taking a leap and baring her soul to him every so often. He needed the truth, too. After everything that had happened in the last year, that was the least she could give him.

He was speechless, stunned by her confession. His inner writer was fuming at him for having no words at this particular moment. He needed to do something, if he couldn't say anything, to show his understanding, his acceptance and most importantly, his love. Doing the first and only thing that came to mind, he pushed up from the arm of the couch, branded his lips to hers while gently skimming her cheeks with the pads of his fingers, in no hurry at all. Breaking apart, he watched as yet another dazzling smile made its way across her face. He knew she was it for him, that this was the beginning of their forever, no matter how the cynics would argue that nothing was forever, this was his and he'd fight to the death before anybody would take it away from him.

He lay down on the three seater leather sofa, stretching his body across the length of it, pulling her down beside him. She found a comfortable position, her head resting just below his shoulder while her left arm was splayed across his chest.

"My favourite Christmas as a kid was the year I'd turned eight. There was an incredible amount of snow, blocking a lot of the roads from traffic, so we were more or less snowed in. Mother had just returned from a twelve week stage show in New Orleans..." he began to tell her, the baritone of his voice rumbling throughout his chest, soothing and lulling her into a state of weightlessness as he progressed through his tale.

Somewhere inside of him, he knew that this would be the best Christmas yet.


	3. January

_**September 13, 1984: 8:30am**_

"_Johanna, I'm really sorry, but I can't look after Katie today; I've come down with a stomach bug and I can barely get out of bed and I really don't want to get any of you sick," the voice of the Beckett's regular babysitter, Chantal, came through the phone._

_Johanna pinched the bridge of her nose in irritation. This was the third time in the last two weeks Chantal had cancelled on them for reasons which were less than convincing. _

"_No, Chantal, it's okay. Make sure you rest up and drink plenty of fluids," replied Johanna, her motherly instincts overpowering her irritation. "Yeah, okay, yes, you too, get better soon, right, bye!" she finished, ending the call._

_Directing her gaze to the clock on the kitchen wall, she cringed, realising how late it already was. What was she supposed to do with Katie now? It was far too late to ask somebody else, she thought, watching her put her various toys and colouring books into her bag in preparation to be dropped at Chantal's._

_Jim entered the kitchen, tightening the knot of his tie and rearranging the sleeves of his shirt underneath his suit jacket until they were sitting comfortably._

"_Are you ready?" he asked, doing up the final button of the left sleeve of his suit jacket._

"_Chantal can't take Katie again, she's 'sick'," scoffed Johanna, rolling her eyes, her irritation radiating off of her in waves._

"_What, again?" questioned Jim, equally surprised at the young woman's sudden inability to look after their daughter. "I think she's just going to have to come with us today, Jo. There's nothing much we can do now, it's getting on for eight thirty as it is," reasoned Jim._

"_Yeah, I thought so," agreed Johanna somewhat reluctantly. "You're going to have to look after her until about 10:30 though, I have a meeting with O'Shassey and his lawyer and I don't think it's going to be... pleasant,"  
she told him, carefully selecting her words._

"_That isn't a problem, I have a stack of paperwork to get through, but only afternoon meetings today," he replied, feeling satisfied with the outcome of their predicament._

"_Hey Katie?" he called in the direction of the lounge._

"_Yeah?" she replied dragging her bag into the kitchen behind her._

"_You're coming to work with us today," Jim told her._

_All Katie could do was beam; she loved going to work with her parents._

_**September 13, 1984: 10:30am**_

"_Katie, I'm coming for you!" roared Jim, doing his best impersonation of a dinosaur, causing Katie to let out a high pitched shriek, leaping from the couch to the cushion on the floor, trying to avoid the lava that the floor had become during their game._

"_Nooooo!" she squealed, putting more distance between them as she clambered onto the chair reserved for Jim's clients, then pulling herself up onto his desk, knocking a few papers off in the process._

_Jim laughed evilly; she had nowhere to run or hide now. He approached his young daughter stealthily, watching as the recognition spread across her face slowly. He thought about his next move carefully before going in for the kill, sprinting toward her, his hands reaching out to tickle her sides, eliciting loud, gleeful laughter from her. _

_Johanna was well aware of what was going on in Jim's office and the other half of her meeting attendees certainly knew something was up. She received puzzling looks from her soon-to-be adversarial opponent and the somewhat smug and slightly intimidating plaintiff, not that Johanna would ever admit that to anybody but herself or perhaps Jim._

"_Excuse me for a moment," she said, pushing her chair away from the table and exiting the room, her shiny black stilettos clicking against the hardwood floor as she followed the direction of the noise, emanating from no other place but her husband and work partner's office._

_Foregoing the customary knock, she twisted the knob, pushed the door open and stood in the doorway sternly. _

"_Can you two keep it down? O'Shassey and his lawyer are giving me shifty looks because they can HEAR you and I don't want them to manipulate whatever the hell they think goes on in our law firm to tip the odds in their favour, okay? Jim, you're supposed to be working," said Johanna angrily before closing the door and returning to her meeting._

_Jim exchanged looks with Katie; his was the epitome of guilty, while hers was just irritated, arms crossed, brow furrowed and eyes narrowed. Why did mom always have to ruin their fun?_

**January 9, 2012**

Kate Beckett wanted nothing more than for her mom to be sitting on the couch opposite her, only a coffee table separating them. She needed a hug, someone to talk to and a cup of warm, milky tea made just the right way pressed against her palms. But instead, the couch and her apartment are empty and foreign; her half finished cup of coffee was sitting on the table of separation, cold and long forgotten. The sobbing had subsided hours ago, but the multitude of tears remained, steadily making their way down her face, no longer caring to remove the lingering moisture on her cheeks.

But what did it matter, anyway? Nothing had changed in the last thirteen years, not really. Her mom was still gone, the case still cold, the original sitting in the precinct's archive and her copy taped to the shutters of her office just sitting there, mocking her, being the one case she still hasn't been able to solve even after all this time.

Kate huffed in irritation and shoved herself up from the couch, angrily swiping at her tears. She swore that it wouldn't get the better of her today, but she'd taken a personal day, not ready to face her co-workers because even though they wouldn't _say_ it, they still _knew_ what today meant for her. She'd snapped at Castle this morning when he was trying to be sweet. Instead, she shut him out again, out of her heart and her home. Yet another thing she'd sworn she wouldn't do, especially after her conscious acceptance of Castle's declaration of love.

Shit, Castle. She shut the door on his face eight hours ago, looking hurt, and something else? Betrayed, he almost looked betrayed. She promised him and herself that she'd be more honest to him, to not run from him when things got ugly. But what had she done? The opposite, of course. She growled, angry with herself now. She had to fix this; he'd only tried to help her, not to intrude, to irritate or exacerbate; he was trying to help.

She slipped on her flats, snatched up her wallet and the keys to her apartment, but paused when her eyes lingered on her car keys. Wanting to get to Castle's in one piece, she decided against driving and opted for a cab instead.

Putting the lock into place on her front door, she pulled it shut firmly behind her, testing it for good measure before bolting to the stairs, not having enough patience to wait for the elevator. Reaching the bottom, she crossed the lobby with long, purposeful strides and out into the pouring rain. She cursed herself internally for not taking a jacket, the feeling of the heavy spring rain soaking her from head to toe, being strangely calming. Although it did appear there was a turn of her luck today; she signalled the first cab that passed her and it pulled over immediately for her.

Sliding into the cab, she rattled off Castle's all too familiar address to the driver and contemplated what she was actually going to once she arrived. Is he even going to want to see her after this morning? He wouldn't turn her away, not today, or at least she hoped he wouldn't.

Handing her money to the driver and telling him to keep the change, she stepped out onto the sidewalk outside Castle's, where it didn't seem to be affected by the downpour she'd encountered at her place. Taking a deep breath, she headed to the lobby, nodding politely to the doorman and jabbed the button for the elevator, slightly less hurried than she was twenty minutes ago.

The elevator made its ascent up to Castle's floor, dinging softly to alert her of its arrival. It was now or never.

She raised her hand to his door, knocking on the solid wood once, twice. She waited for sounds of life with baited breath; footsteps, conversation, cutlery, anything. She just _needed_ for him to be at home.

Much to her luck, her silent prayers to whatever higher power there may be were answered. She heard the soft click of a door, followed by shuffling, the slide of a deadbolt and then she was face to face with the only man she truly ever loved.

"Oh god, Castle," Kate choked out, pulling him to her, looping her arms around his neck and burying her face there, their height difference aiding her in doing so.

He'd been waiting for her to come to him all day; he knew she eventually would. She's been different since her birthday, since the defining night that pushed them from just Castle and Beckett to Rick and Kate. She was more open and turned to him more than she used to. He supposed that since she hadn't had anyone to _really_ lean on over the last thirteen years, she'd stopped trying to find someone to lean on, but when it came to them, it just clicked, and there he was. He wasn't angry for her earlier actions, just merely surprised by what had transpired in a small number of seconds.

He responded softly, one hand splayed across her lower back while the other weaved its way into her hair, massaging her scalp with the tips of his fingers, simply holding her, waiting for that extraordinary mind of hers to decide what came next.

"You're wet," he murmured into her hair, the hand on her back slowly stroking its way up to rest on her shoulder.

Kate let out a throaty laugh against his shoulder, reminding him that double entendres did exist and the breathtaking woman currently residing in his arms had a habit of taking them the other way.

"Jeez, glad you finally noticed," she teased, pulling back from him just enough to meet his gaze.

He didn't speak, just smiled warmly before leaning in to capture her lips with hers briefly, exchanging unspoken words of _'I missed you,'_ and _'I love you,' _before shifting to kiss the ridge of her eyebrow, her cheek, and finally, the underside of her jaw, not desperate, not eager, just simply there.

"Kate, we need to get you out of those clothes," he said, earning himself a saucy grin "Or at least you do," he chastised, spinning her around, putting his hands on her shoulders and steering her in the direction of his bedroom.

Kate emerged ten minutes later, clad in a pair of Castle's sweat pants and her favourite t-shirt of his, dwarfing her relatively small frame, her hair piled on top of her head in a bun after quickly towel drying it. She found him in the kitchen, huddled around a bench, the taut muscles of his back visible through his grey tee, briefly remembering their strong warmth and how they rippled and quivered underneath the touch of her hand.

He sensed her presence more than he heard her; this was becoming a fairly regular occurrence of late. Although, there were times when she still got the drop on him, managing to slink undetected around his loft, like a cat. Not letting it happen _again_, he turned around before she had the chance to sneak up on him, admiring her new attire as she moved towards him.

Turning back to the counter, he picked up her cup of tea and handed it to her, pressing it against her outstretched palm, watching as she looked to him, down at the cup and back again, briefly catching a flash of something in her eyes that he couldn't decipher.

"Thank you," taking a sip before casting her eyes downwards and tucking a strand of hair that had escaped from her bun behind her ear. Milky; just how her mother used to make it. Out of all the things he knew about her, how on earth did he manage to discover this?

"Kate," he said in a low voice as he crowded her into the corner of the kitchen where the two counters met in a point. He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out yet another bag, identical to the one he'd given her when they were decorating the Christmas tree together.

This time he didn't wait for her to undo her bracelet, instead undoing it himself, slipping it off her wrist and placing it in her hand as he loosened the strings on the bag, removed the charm and held it at her eye level, pinched between his thumb and forefinger.

"For your mom," he spoke with warmth and sincerity. "You got your love of reading from her and it is only right that we honour her not just today, but each and every day because of the amazing person she was and of course, the equally amazing daughter she raised. This is for you, Johanna," Castle spoke proudly, handing the charm to Kate.

With shaking hands, she threaded the charm onto the bracelet and pushed it far enough so it was touching the Christmas tree charm, before Castle's large hands redid the clasp, settling it back on her wrist.

Gaining confidence, she firmly planted her hand on the back of his neck and tugged him down while standing on the tips of her toes, meeting him half way, moulding her lips to his, kissing fervently. Once things had calmed down a bit, only because neither of them were in the mood for passing out due to a lack of oxygen, she gave a chorus of thankyous against his lips, almost like a mantra, punctuating each one of them with a swift press of her lips against his.

He lifted her up onto the counter, moving to stand in between her legs and resumed his passion fuelled attack on her, scraping his teeth lightly over her bottom lip before soothing it with the warmth and wetness of his tongue. With two hands situated on her back, he pulled her impossibly closer; the top halves of their bodies now flush. She groaned into his mouth, paying an equal amount of attention to his top lip as he was to her bottom, before wrapping her legs around his waist and raking her fingers through his short hair, all of the sensations she was experiencing threatening to overwhelm her.

Castle seemed to take this as his queue, navigating them out of the kitchen, through his office and into his bedroom, narrowly missing a few poorly placed walls that they almost crashed into.

He laid her down on his bed, peeling his t-shirt off of her body, watching as she undid her hair, damp curls spilling across the milky skin of her half naked body before she pulled him back on top of her, flipping them so she was on top, and then kissing a fiery path from his collarbone up to his lips and then back down again.

Later, when they lay sated in a tangled mess of bed sheets in a room with clothes scattered all around, Castle was on his back, softly snoring with Kate pressed against his side, watching contently while wondering what she ever did to deserve such an incredible man.

He'd spent the entire duration of their relationship, so far, giving her meaningful charms to add to her bracelet, but she hadn't given anything meaningful to him. That wasn't entirely true, she'd given him so much of herself over the last three months, but nothing tangible. But, after tonight, she knew the time was right.

She slipped out of his bed, not bothering to cover herself with anything; they had the loft to themselves anyway. She headed to his adjoining bathroom where her first set of clothes, still slightly damp, lay strewn across the floor. She crouched down and rummaged through the articles until she found her keys. Taking one of the spares off her key ring, she left the bathroom, located his own keys, conveniently placed on the nightstand on his side of the bed, well, _his side_ when he wasn't invading hers. She added the key to his ring and climbed back into bed before pulling the duvet over them and snuggling back up to him.

She'd briefly considered leaving a note, but did he really need one? He was a writer; meticulous with these sorts of things, had a great eye for detail and was observant to an almost frightening level. No, he didn't need a hint; he'd find this of his own accord. She understood that this was a turning point in their romantic relationship, allowing herself to start giving him even more of her as each day went by.


	4. February

**February 14, 1986**

_Katie Beckett was excited. Today was one of her favourite days of the year; Valentine's Day. Every year she had woken up and watched her parents, so clearly and deeply in love with one another, exchange gifts, kisses and warm looks across the span of the day. She admired the strong relationship her parents had, but deep down, was a little jealous of it. _

_Hauling the blankets off of herself, she bolted out the door of her bedroom, downstairs and into the kitchen. Rounding the corner, she was greeted with the sight of a fresh bunch of deep red roses standing in a vase of water, placed in the centre of their kitchen table, presumably from her dad to her mom; she was in absolute awe of a dozen flowers. _

_Katie's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps and a soft "oof" emanating from her dad, stuck in the doorway while trying to bring an oversized stuffed teddy bear into the kitchen._

_She rushed over to help him turn the bear on an angle and squeeze it through the door before sitting the huge brown bear upright in the chair and adjusting the bright red bow tied around its neck. _

"_Do you think mom will like him?" asked Jim, stroking the bear's head._

"_I think she will like them just as much as the other two you bought her," replied Katie confidently, in reference to the bears Jim had bought Johanna the previous year and the one before that._

"_Well, that's good, she loved the other two!" exclaimed Jim, feeling rather pleased with the presents he'd purchased. _

_The pair became motionless in anticipation as they heard Johanna's signature sound of heels clicking against the floor and keys jangling in her hand growing louder with each step she took toward the kitchen._

"_Jim?" called Johanna as she entered the room, taking in the sight of the massive teddy bear casually seated at the kitchen table and the immaculate red roses placed neatly in the centre of the surface, a smile slowly, but surely spreading across her face._

"_Another life size teddy bear, really?"asked Johanna, unable to control her infectious laugh, filling the air of their kitchen._

"_Many more if you want them, too," replied Jim smoothly, taking precise, fluent steps toward his wife until he stood before her. "Happy Valentine's Day, Jo," he whispered, leaning in to softly kiss the love of his life._

**February 14, 2012**

Twenty six years later, Kate Beckett didn't care that much for Valentine's Day; she'd long disposed of the illusion of being pampered with various gifts and long winded declarations of love, a result of years of being let down by whichever boyfriend she was with at the time or because she'd spent the holiday working. No, today was just another normal day, another Tuesday she spent at work doing her job.

She couldn't help but feel guilty about Ryan having to be at work today, though. But apparently, that didn't stop Jenny's plans from going ahead. Kate had watched on as chocolates, flowers and even a teddy bear had been brought in by a delivery man in search of a certain Kevin Ryan; it was definitely sweet of her to do so.

Out of the people who had actually came into work today, most of them had disappeared off to lunch; she knew Ryan had gone with Jenny, but had a sneaking suspicion that Esposito was off with Lanie somewhere. Thumbing through the remainder of her paperwork, she frowned at the density of the stack of paper as her stomach made an audible complaint about the lack of food.

As if somehow prompted by the universe, the elevator dinged loudly, signalling its arrival and none other than her partner turned boyfriend, Richard Castle, emerged from its depths, armed with Chinese food, and _was that a_ _stuffed giraffe?_ tucked under his arm.

"M'lady Katherine," Castle greeted, placing the rainbow coloured giraffe on Kate's desk, then leaning over the wooden barrier to steal a kiss from her before unpacking the bags of food and dividing it up equally between them.

"What's all this for?" enquired Kate, accepting a pair of chopsticks from Castle.

"What? What do you mean, 'What's all this for?', it's Valentine's Day, Kate!" he gaped at her, receiving an eye roll in response.

"I know that much, but the giraffe and the Chinese food? Okay, I'm sorry, that came out wrong," she apologised, taking a breath before continuing. "I'm not any good at this. What you've done is so incredibly sweet and I absolutely love it, thank you, but I don't—I'm—Nobody's ever done this for me," she finished, pleading with her eyes for him to understand.

"Kate," he said, covering her smaller hand with his larger one "That doesn't matter. You're here with me, eating Chinese food and not laughing at me because I gave you a multi-coloured giraffe. That's all that matters, okay?" he said reassuringly, dashing any lingering doubts.

Feeling somewhat stunned by his confession, and as a result, at a loss of words, Kate broke their intensely locked gaze to continue eating her lunch. The silence passed them by as they ate together, not awkward or uncomfortable in the slightest way.

"Oh, Kate, I have something for you," said Castle, placing his chopsticks onto her desk, reaching into his front right pants pocket to pull out the oh-so-familiar white Pandora pouch.

"Close your eyes and hold out your hand," he whispered.

Kate frowned, but obliged anyway, shutting her eyes and extending her hand to him, palm up. He tipped the bag upside down above her hand, the contents spilling onto the even surface of her palm.

Opening her eyes, she noticed the charm; a small silver hoop with a heart dangling from there.

"Our first Valentine's Day," she murmured, undoing the clasp of her bracelet so she could add the latest charm to her collection.

"Not just that. Your insecurities, your flaws and whatever you think might be holding you back don't matter; I don't want you to feel like you have to hide them from me. I love all of you, the good and the bad. I just need you to remember that, Kate, I love you and that's all there is to it," he told her sincerely.

Something inside her snapped. This man, this incredibly sweet, honest and loving man had defencelessly told her how much he loved her time and time again, had no intention of ever leaving her and he was all hers.

Pushing her chair away from her desk, she stood up and made a beeline for Castle, yanking him out of the chair that had become _his_ over the duration of their partnership and entering his personal space, all but pressing herself up against him.

"And I love you, Rick Castle," she spoke confidently, before leaning up and claiming his lips. She took his bottom lip between her teeth, grazing lightly, releasing it in favour of sweeping her tongue across it, begging for entrance.

He groaned deeply, digging his fingertips into soft flesh near her hips, pulling her impossibly closer. This only spurred her on, threading the fingers of one hand through his short hair, skimming the shell of his ear with the other, before settling it on his neck and tugging him down further.

In her apparent efforts to morph them into one person, she shoved him up against the side of her desk, the wood of it digging into the back of his thighs painfully. He spun them, taking care not to let the wood press into her too hard.

Castle swept all the papers off her desk in one fluid motion, hitting the floor with a solid 'thud', hardly caring about what Kate would say later, although, it could hardly be said she was protesting as she left a trail of hot, open mouthed kisses from his jaw down to his neck.

He hoisted her up onto her cleared desk, chest flushed and heaving as a result of their eagerness. She lay across the surface, trying to control her breathing while biting her bottom lip, waiting for Castle to make the next move.

The predatory look he so often had made an appearance in his eyes yet again as he loomed over her, stroking a hand up her side starting from her waist, over her shoulder and resting on the desk beside her head. He joined her on top of the desk, his knees bracketing her thighs as he kissed her languidly, less frenzied than before.

"Oh, gross, we shouldn't have gone to lunch after all, man," came the disgusted, yet slightly amused voice of Esposito, barely even meters from where they were having... fun.

Castle squeaked and Beckett let out a scream, her limbs flying uncontrollably in all directions at such a great force that resulted in them toppling off the desk and onto the bullpen floor, falling in front of the feet of the other half of their team in a tangle of arms and legs.

"I second that, bro," agreed Ryan, presenting his hand to initiate his and Esposito's secret handshake.

"So does this mean you're together?" asked Ryan smugly, pretending to mull over the evidence he just witnessed.

Beckett hid her face in Castle's shoulder. She did _not_ just get caught making out on her desk with Castle by Ryan and Esposito, this was not happening.


	5. March

**March 23, 2012: 9:30pm**

It was too hot.

She had to get out of there.

Kate Beckett shoved herself up off the floor of the shower, shutting off the water with practiced ease before escaping the clutches of the too hot shower, wrapping a towel around her wet body and sitting on the edge of the bath tub, burying her face in her hands.

The bitter, metallic taste of blood still lingered in her mouth from earlier today, her heart beat still erratic, hands shaking and _oh god_, she felt like she was about to pass out; even in the wider area of the bathroom she was still being suffocated by the air and heat.

She wrenched the door open, coming close to ripping it off its hinges and stumbled into her significantly cooler bedroom. Unable to move another inch, she gave up and collapsed against her bed, hardly caring about making the covers wet; she just needed to calm down enough to avoid a panic attack.

Coming too close to death for the umpteenth time really was a slap in the face; there were metaphorical bruises scattered underneath her scratched face. The events that had transpired earlier that day, only in a shockingly small number of minutes left her wondering whether it was all worth it, her fingers unconsciously seeking out the protruding bullet wound she'd acquired almost a year ago. But really, at what expense? Getting shoved out of the deathly path of a bullet, only for another innocent person to take it on her behalf?

She should've done something; that bullet was meant for her, not for Ryan, and now, he was in hospital; a bullet lodged in him and a hysterically distraught wife by his side. Kate couldn't help but feel entirely responsible.

**March 23, 2012: 5:30pm**

"_Steve, I need you to just put the gun down. If you do that, I can help you, I'll put in a good word with the DA, this doesn't have to end badly," Kate stated calmly, her voice level and hand steady as she inched toward her offender with the intention of apprehending him._

"_NO!" Steve bellowed "If you take one more step toward me I will splatter your brains all over the pavement. You see, this will end badly not for me, but for you," he threatened, his shaky hands tightening their grip on the gun he was presently wielding. _

_Kate tensed, hearing Castle's soft gasp of shock from behind her, hoping to herself that she could cover him if the crazed manic currently pointing his gun at her decided to open fire. _

_Ryan and Esposito were meters away from the action, each of them hidden behind numerous wooden shipping crates at their respective positions. Located on the outskirts of the arena of potentially deathly action that Castle, Kate and Steve were currently in the middle of, both had a somewhat good vantage point. _

_That, of course, was until Kate shifted slightly to the right, effectively blocking Esposito's view of the suspect. He groaned internally; could this really get any worse? He signalled his plan to Ryan, on the opposite side of the room, hoping to get everyone out relatively unscathed. _

_The ever intense countdown began and ended five seconds later, both men springing into action. Ryan leapt from his covert position, tackling Kate to the ground, while Esposito snuck up on Steve, pushed him to the floor, disarmed and apprehended him. Much to everyone's horror, the sickening ring of a single gunshot bounced off the walls enclosing them in the filthy warehouse._

_Kate's hand instinctively flew to her chest, searching for any rampant bullets that might try to claim her life yet again. Breathing a sigh of relief, she sagged against the floor, gathering her strength, hoping that the throbbing pain inside her head would desist. Wait, if the bullet didn't hit her, where was it now?_

_Bolting upright, she cast her eyes upon Ryan lying on the oil stained floor next to her, not moving, but definitely breathing. In a fury of strained nerves, Kate turned Ryan over, noticing his tense posture and contorted face. Oh god, he'd been hit. Her fingers brushed against the warm, sticky patch pooling half way up his thigh and proceeded to firmly apply pressure to the open wound._

"_Castle," Kate breathed, eyes wide and frantic staring up at him "Call an ambulance," she pleaded, continuing to press against the entry point, trying to stop the blood from seeping out._

**March 23, 2012: 9:45pm**

The sound of a key sliding into the lock of her front door dragged her out of her reverie. She scrambled from her place on the floor to her nightstand, pulling the gun out, stealthily navigating the space of her apartment, ready for a fight, although, she had a fair idea of who would be walking through the door any second now. Regardless, it wasn't a risk she was willing to take.

Poking her head around the door, her suspicions were confirmed; it was indeed Castle. Sighing in relief, she tossed her gun on the kitchen table and crossed the room to meet him at the door. He looked worse than when she saw him last, dishevelled hair, crumpled clothes and something dark in the depths of his eyes that she couldn't quite put her finger on.

He wouldn't meet her eyes, instead, kept them downcast. Tonight had changed, terrified and shocked him to the core. He almost watched Kate take _another_ bullet only meters from where he stood, and was powerless to stop it. It was only now that he finally began to understand the reasoning behind disallowing inter-organisational relationships in professions like theirs. There was so much more at stake now and he wasn't sure that he could stand around to watch it crumble in front of his eyes.

"Rick?" asked Kate tentatively, her warm hands placed on his biceps, tracing soothing circles with her thumbs.

"Kate," he suddenly responded, his gaze snapping up to meet hers, at the sudden realisation of who was standing in front of him, near-naked and wet, only a towel elasticised at the top of her chest covering her.

He crushed her small frame to his larger one in utter desperation hands clutching at her towel clad back as he drank the scent of her freshly showered form, all soap and cherry scented shampoo. His breath was coming out in ragged pants against her ear; she could tell that he was trying his best not to cry as the after effects of the day took their toll on him.

"Kate," he rasped, loosening his hold on her to press his lips against the soft skin of her cheek. "After today..." he started, but was cut off by the emotions inside him threatening to bubble over. "After today, watching you come close to getting shot again not even a year later, I don't think I can do this anymore," he felt her tense in his arms "I can come to the precinct with you, spin theory, decipher evidence, interview witnesses, but I can't go into situations like today with you unless we have backup. What if Ryan and Esposito weren't there? I'm not a cop, I don't have a gun and I don't know if I could live knowing that my poor judgement and lack of action got you shot or killed. Kate, I just can't," he begged her to understand, to see where he was coming from.

Kate lodged her hand behind his neck and pulled his face down to hers so their noses were brushing.

"Castle," she spoke softly "It's okay, I get it, I had a feeling this would happen sooner or later," she confessed, bringing her other hand up to rub across the barely there stubble lingering on his jaw. "But the important part is that you're going to be safe and I'll be safer if we work a bit more by the book. It took us long enough to get to where we are now and I'll be damned if it gets taken away from me because of my own stupidity, Rick," she finished, raising up onto her toes to kiss him before sliding back down, her hands roaming across his shoulders and chest.

Kate watched in fascination as more warm—no, scratch that, _hot_—emotions filtered across his face and at that moment, she knew that she'd ignited the fire once again. He took carefully measured steps toward her with the intention of bringing their bodies flush, and for the sake of pure teasing; she stepped backwards each time until her back was pressed up against the heavy metal of her door.

He crowded her against the door with a hand on either side of her head. His lips made the torturously slow journey toward her own, coming to a total stop centimetres in front of hers, an audible whimper escaping her throat causing the last of Castle's resolve to crumble into a pile of rubble.

Castle claimed her lips, sucking at her top one while threading his fingers through her long, wet hair, tangling his fingers through the strands. She responded eagerly, curling her leg around the back of his thigh, her hands gripping his shoulders for balance, leaving both of them breathless.

The shrill ring of Kate's cell phone sitting on top of the counter interrupted their passion fuelled frenzy, causing them to break apart and untangle themselves from one another.

"You should get that," he suggested, chest still heaving.

Kate jogged across the room to grab her phone before it went to voicemail, glancing briefly at the caller ID, she noted it was Jenny calling. This was either going to be good news or bad news, but she hoped for the former.

"Jenny, hi," she greeted, locking eyes with Castle who was still standing at the door while listening to the woman on the other end of the phone.

"That's great. No, we'll be there as soon as possible. Let him know we're coming, okay? See you soon," Kate ended the call.

"Ryan's awake and asking for us," she told Castle, heading in the direction of her bedroom in search of some clothes.

**March 24, 2012: 12:15am**

Kate slid the deadlock into place on the inside of her front door, checking the locks twice before shedding her jacket, slinging it across the back of her arm chair. Ryan was okay; he was in pain and would probably need a few months of physical therapy before returning to full duty, but he was going to be okay.

Remembering she'd left her gun—loaded—on her kitchen table, hoping it was still there, she padded into the kitchen to retrieve her gun, but paused when she saw what would be the fifth Pandora pouch, _another one_ she thought to herself.

Loosening the strings, her searching fingers were met with a piece of paper and then finally the cool metal of the charm. She extracted both from the bag, placing them on the table, noting the beautiful, intricate design, a silver ring, broadest in the middle and tapering the sides.A raised beaded pattern running around the thickest part and a pattern of engraved swirling loops, almost like honeycomb, extending to the bevelled edges. Picking up the accompanying note, she read his neat scrawl across the white paper.

"_KB, for your incredible, mind blowing inner strength. Always, RC."_


	6. April

**August 28, 1986**

_This was the first time Katie Beckett had ever liked a boy. All of her friends either had boyfriends or were crushing on someone, but not Katie. All of the boys she went to school with were either mean or really silly; not the kind of people Katie wanted as her boyfriend anyway. _

_However, this all changed at the beginning of second grade._

_The new year always brought in new people to every school, this was no exception. A boy, slightly taller than Katie, with sandy blonde hair and dazzling green eyes named Toby had joined Katie's school and fortunately, her class too._

_Toby was really smart; he knew all of his four times tables up to twelve. He was also really polite; using his 'pleases' and 'thank yous' when necessary and he holds doors open for people to walk through before he did._

_The problem for Katie was that a lot of other girls liked him as well; ones that showed off and flaunted themselves in front of him._

_A few months into school, her class was having a spelling bee. These always excited Katie; she was an avid reader, so naturally had an expansive vocabulary and was generally very good at spelling._

_The final round came down to her and Toby. This was her chance to get him to notice her and to hopefully impress him with her knowledge of the English language._

"_The last word is 'xylophone'," came the booming voice of their grey-haired, aging teacher, Mrs Smythe.  
_

_Katie and Toby both scribbled furiously on their respective pieces of paper, working against each other and the clock._

"_Time's up," announced Mrs Smythe, crossing the room to collect their papers._

"_Toby, you had 'x-y-l-a-p-h-o-n-e' which unfortunately, is incorrect. However, Katie, you had 'x-y-l-o-p-h-o-n-e', which is correct! Congratulations!" said Mrs Smythe as the class erupted into a round of applause._

"_Good job," said Toby sincerely, extending his hand to Katie to shake._

"_You too," replied Katie, returning his shake._

"_It's my birthday on the weekend and I'm having a party, would you like to come?" asked Toby, producing a folded piece of paper from the pocket of his pants.___

"Yeah, sure, I'd love to," smiled Katie, accepting the invitation while trying to not appear too eager.

_**September 3, 1986**___

Katie and Johanna had spent hours shopping, but eventually found the perfect present for Toby; a boom box that had a radio function and played cassettes. Sure, it was a bit on the pricey side, but Johanna eventually agreed to it, after Katie had pleaded her case well, noting that she hadn't spent too much money in the last month and was up to date with her chores.

Dressed in a purple dress with silver sparkly shoes and neatly wrapped present tucked under her arm, Katie roamed around Toby's backyard in search of him.

Walking through the rose covered arch, she poked her head behind the garage and saw the most unspeakable sight she had ever seen in her short six years.

Celeste and Toby were kissing.

She wanted to be sick and she wanted to cry. Instead, she just ran and swore to herself she'd never fall for a boy like that again.

**April 1, 2012: 10:00pm**

Richard Castle shut the door behind him softly; being wary of not waking up any of the inhabitants of his humble abode should they be home and fast asleep. Judging by the current state of near-darkness throughout the loft, save for a few lamps turned on that were casting a soft glow on the room, he was certain this was the case. Either that, or they weren't even home; out celebrating his birthday without him.

He leant his head to one side and then the other, attempting to eradicate the tension from his neck and shoulders, hearing a satisfying click when he hit just the right spot. Much to his dismay, it had been an endless day of Black Pawn meetings, Gina hassling him about his deadline and Paula nagging for another public appearance, all on his birthday. Too much time spent in their stuffy offices surrounded by the mahogany desks and sinfully comfortable chairs of the organisation, instead of being perched on a wooden desk next to Kate Beckett, gazing at the murder board, hoping to stumble upon the next piece in the puzzle of the crime against the person.

Speaking of Kate, where was she anyway?

Tossing his keys into the bowl beside the front door and toeing off his now-constricting Italian leather shoes, he heard the familiar click of heels across his wooden floorboards. Oh yes, she was definitely home, he thought, smirking to himself.

Emerging from his office, she was headed towards him, carrying his laptop while dressed in a white button down shirt, a few buttons popped for good measure, an accentuating black pencil skirt, black stilettos, magnificently curled hair and dark framed glasses perched on her nose to complete the look, he had a fair idea of what was happening.

Businesswoman? Teacher? He wasn't sure, but whatever it was, he definitely _enjoyed_ it, a lot.

"Why, Mr Castle," greeted Kate in character, her voice husky, a few octaves lower than normal "It appears that you have had a book overdue for the last four months, despite our efforts to contact and remind you that it needed to be returned," she continued, pretending to look at something on his laptop before placing it carefully on the coffee table.

"Do you know what happens to people who don't return library books, Mr Castle?" she asked, now standing in front of him, reaching out to toy with his already loosened tie.

Castle just shook his head to indicate the negative. He could barely breathe, let alone speak, when Kate, the majestic creature that she was regardless, was standing in front of him, lecturing him with dirty talk for not returning his library book and it was just so damn hot.

"Well, we normally just issue a fine... but you, Mr Castle, are a repeat offender who is quite well off financially, so I don't think a fine is going to teach you a lesson, somehow," she purred, moving to slide her hand across his chest and around his neck. "I'm going to have to punish you in another way," she growled, backing him up against the door.

"Maybe this will teach you to return your books by the due date," Kate said sternly, leaning in to claim his mouth, sucking on his upper lip, allowing her teeth to graze over it before bringing her tongue into the mix, battling for dominance with Castle's as they slid deliciously against one another.

She felt him respond eagerly; the insistent pressure of his lips and his hands at her hips, trying to haul her closer to him than she already was. Having granted him some leeway already and needing to reclaim her control over the situation at hand, Kate abruptly pulled back and put a couple of feet in between them as a precaution.

"Mr Castle, stop. You are the one who is at fault and needs to be reprimanded, cease participation," admonished Kate, chest heaving, pupils dilated and voice dripping heavily with arousal.

Once again, she bridged the gap between them, taking his tie into her clutches. However, this time she grasped the knot in her left hand and tugged the neck, undoing the tie and sliding it through her long, slender fingers. Placing her hands on Castle's shoulders, she spun him on the spot, his back now facing her. She wound the tie around his head twice, effectively covering his eyes then neatly tying it at the side to hold it in place.

"Kate, I can't see a thing. How am I even supposed to—" he protested, but was cut off quickly.

"That's the whole point of this, _Ricky_," she murmured into his ear, her warm breath washing over his ear, causing him to become aware of exactly how close she was at this moment in time.

Reaching out, she snagged a belt loop and pulled him along as she walked backwards through the lounge, into the study and finally to awaiting destination of his bedroom, expertly avoiding furniture and walls.

Kate pushed him to a sitting position on the bed, joining him afterwards with a knee on either side of his thighs, bracketing them. She leant in to kiss him softly, taking her time. Her fingers skimmed his shoulders, up his neck and through his short hair. The sensations were incredible; Castle had never been blindfolded in a situation like this before. When you remove one sense, another is heightened.

He felt every inch of her warm, lithe body pressed against him as she manoeuvred him back onto the bed, effectively lying on top of him as she continued to nip and suck at his lips.

Pausing briefly, she pushed herself up into a sitting position, he groans at the loss of contact, even though she's still straddling him. Reaching down to pull the tails of his shirt free, she moved up, slowly unbuttoning his shirt then making her way back up to continue her slow, torturous, but reverent assault on his mouth.

Switching to his ear, she ran her tongue around the shell of it, her hot breath washing over it in waves. He let out a low moan of pleasure, his fingers grasping either side of her waist, spurring her on. Travelling further, she reached his neck, leaving hot, open mouthed kisses in her wake, finishing at his collarbone where she sucked on the protruding ridge.

"Shirt off," she murmured in his ear, her fingers mapping the defined contours of his abdomen, feeling his muscles contract and harden under her touch.

He obeyed, shedding his shirt and undershirt as quickly as he could; blindly fumbling for Kate once he was shirtless.

HerHer ee

Her devilish mouth returned to his, this time more insistent, hard and demanding; trying to convey all of her love to him through her kiss.

Breaking away from him once again, he groaned in frustration. He was well aware of what she was doing; denying him what he craved in order to prolong the experience. He loved her for it regardless. He felt cold at the loss of contact, until he felt her hot tongue mapping a path down his abdomen, pausing to swirl at his navel, causing him to jerk against her in surprise.

He heard her throaty laugh as she undid his belt buckle, threw it off the bed, landing on the floor with a satisfying thump. She popped the button on his dress pants, sliding the zipper down, the heat of her hand radiating through the thin material where he wanted her the most.

Her nimble fingers slid the black material down his legs, allowing them to roam as she did so, causing him to shiver in delight under her touch.

"Kate?" he questioned, becoming concerned when she didn't return to him, laying on his own bed in his underwear while blindfolded.

He heard the all too familiar sound of buttons popping, zippers sliding and clothes hitting the floor.

"Castle," whispered Beckett as she returned to him, rising above him on the bed...

**April 2, 2012: 9:00am**

The bullpen was surprisingly empty for nine am on a Monday morning. Dropping her bag into the bottom drawer of her desk and shedding hear coat and hanging it over the back of her desk chair; Kate Beckett noticed something off about the scene in front of her eyes.

There was a box on her desk.

This must've been Castle's doing. He always moved in mysterious ways when it came to things like this; being able to leave boxes on her desk even though she could've sworn he was fast asleep in bed when she left that morning.

Satisfied that the room was free of nosy, suspicious people after a brief scan of her surrounds, she tugged on the ends of the silver ribbon delicately covering the box, leaving only a metallic purple box. Lifting the lid from the box, revealing the familiar tie they had incorporated in their... Activities... The night prior and of course, another Pandora pouch.

Smirking to herself as the memories of playing librarian came flooding back to her; she picked up the tie and slid the silky material through her fingers once again, just like last night.

Putting the tie aside, she loosened the strings of the Pandora pouch and tipped the contents onto her desk.

An apple. How typical of Castle to give her an apple now, scoffed Kate.

She unrolled the accompanying note to read Castle's neat handwriting in black ink, contrasting against the pristine white paper.

_"Librarian Kate,_

Please accept my formal apology regarding the overdue book. While I may have learned my lesson, I can't guarantee it won't happen again. We didn't even have to incorporate fruit into your, shall we say, punishment. Please take this as a symbol of my gratitude and reminder of your general hotness.

Always,

Mr Castle"


End file.
